Farts In The Earth

Farts smell really bad.

Ever farted so hard the earth exploded?

Me neither.

This is science.


Dr. Mario's Log

DR.MARIO'S LOG 11/2/20XX/: I remember so much, but yet I seem to forget more and more everyday. The good times outweigh the bad, yes. With each picture I feel as if time had passed in a blink.


We were young then. We seemed to know everything, but yet, we knew nothing. This was a time before I knew how to speak in such paradoxical terms. This was a time when we had the world by the mushrooms. Before the great awakening of Hovercraft Toni Braxton.

Those times were different. Much different. We raided castles, dressed up like 'coons, and shot fire. I still feel his breath on the back of my neck. Were times good you ask?


Times were indeed good. Luigi and I had humped the Mushroom Kingdom into a limp submission. We even started our own club. Back when music was good and Yoshi wasn't a Sex Offender. I remember selling bumps of star dust to the Hammer Bros in the bathroom. We were so care free.

Ah, our favorite cafe. I always ordered something I knew he'd approve of: A salad, water, and if he was in a particularly good mood, the french onion soup. We had sold Club Oui by that time. This was when we began to kindle something very special. We were on top of the world before the Great Awakening.


On top of the world.